The Return of T.S.H.B.G.

I'm back with another segment of They Should Have Been Games (T.S.H.B.G.), films that really would have been better off had they been video games instead.  If you missed the first one you can check it out here.  Up to speed? Good.  Lets get started then.

I'm going to break with tradition right away here and go with a fantasy, rather than a sci-fi flick for once.  "Snow White and the Huntsman" felt like a poor man's version of Game of Thrones.  Most of the characters don't really get enough screen time to be fleshed out in a satisfactory way (especially the dwarfs).  The middle act was also an overly long aside.  None of these things would have been a problem though if it had been an RPG.  Think about it, plenty of time for character development, a chance to explore a wider range of themes, and an audience more tolerant toward mediocre storytelling...sounds like a great project for Level-5.

In Japan they have lot of things which you don't see anywhere else.  Two in particular are humanoid robots and raiser-sims.  So, why not combine them and make a video game version of "Real Steel"?  We have the kid protagonist, who acts as the player's in-game proxy.  The dad is your generic short haired, scruffy thirty something perfect for pasting pictures of all over the box art.  Toss in some Punch Out gameplay, a bunch of customization options, plus an upgrade tree and *BOOM* you got an instant knockout hit on your hands.

Moving on we have Will Smith and M. Night Shyamalan.  Two of the most overrated talents in Hollywood teaming up to bring us "After Earth," a movie with a script that feels like it was copied directly from a video game design document (possibly Metroid: Other M). Just check out this short breakdown of some of the story elements:

• A super suit
• A mission control guy
• An impractically cool weapon
• A time limit
• A geothermal checkpoint system 
• A final boss  

Really, this should have been a Naughty Dog or Ubisoft project....

For the sake of enjoyable film viewing experiences, I hope I don't have enough material to write up another one of these for awhile.  Then again we have an extensive back catalog to dip into as well as new releases coming down the pipe all the time so you might see another installment in the not too distant future. 

Lucas Arts...ahem...Telltale could have done a lot with this franchise