Honest Atari Game Titles

 

Star Trek

Created by Gene Rodenberry, this space sci-fi franchise got started in the 1960s as a TV series.  It only ran for three seasons, but made a lasting impression with audiences.  Eventually, this led to a variety of spin-off media including films, novels, a cartoon and (of course) video games.  One of the things that made Star Trek stand out was its rather utopian vision of the future.  In particular, characters tend to get along surprisingly well with one another.  Professionalism and maturity seem to be the ideals that humanity strives for the most in the 24th century.  Telling compelling stories in this sort of setting though, can be a real headache.

Ask anyone who has studied the art of script writing and they'll inform you that plotlines thrive on conflict.  In fact, if you sit down and watch most sitcoms, soap operas or "reality" TV programs that have come out over the last couple decades you'll notice that pretty much all of them revolve around rivalries and in-fighting between main characters.  The simple reason for this being, it's not easy to come up with interesting storylines if they lack interpersonal tensions.  On the plus side though, this difference helped Star Trek standout.  Here was a show wherein the challenge was more about putting heads together to solve a problem, avoid a crisis, or unravel a mystery.  Science fiction concepts were traded in and out from one episode to the next.  A lot of the stories were duds, but sometimes they could be thought provoking or at least memorable.  So...what does all this have to do with video games?

Well, as I briefly mentioned, there have been quite a few Star Trek video game released over the years.  They run the gamut from point-and-click adventure games to first-person shooters and space combat simulators.  Recently, there haven't been any notable new entries in the franchise.  This is partly because the Star Trek Online MMORPG has been keeping fans satiated, and also partially because games like Mass Effect stole Star Trek's thunder.  Even so, that franchise is just as interested in its third-person shooting and RPG mechanics as anything Star Trek related.   Hence, I find myself returning again and again to the question, "what kind of current day game would capture the essence of Star Trek?"  I'm not entirely sure, but to express it in a single word - talking.

Because of budget constraints, any given episode predominantly consists of conversations between characters.  Even on the rare occasions that action takes center stage there still tends to be a lot of discussions going on; punctuated by commands like "Engauge!", "Energize!" or "Make it so."  Assuming that the player takes the role of a starship captain or some kind of commanding officer, they should be spending the majority of their time doing the following:

• Soliciting Advice
• Giving Orders
• Accumulating Information

That's not to say they can't go places and do things.  Exploration is, after all, baked into the IP's DNA.  It's just that I can't really see a Star Trek game being any other way and still be true to it's roots.  The player shouldn't be flying a starship, firing weapons, or repairing a non-functional warp nacelle.  They should be telling other people to do those things, while they make the big decisions that decide the fate of their crew and possibly the course humanity.  

Alternative Quintet

Due to the ongoing pandemic, winter weather, and general economic downturn, a lot of people are stuck at home with time to burn.  Adding insult to injury is the drip feed of new games coming out right now.  In part this is because the industry is transitioning to next gen hardware, but also because of disruptions made to game development for aforementioned reasons.  Enter Cyberpunk 2077, the last big title of 2020 and the game everyone is talking about (for good or ill).  Now, I wouldn't consider myself a big fan of the cyberpunk genre, but I have seen "Akira," "Alita," "Robocop," "Hackers," "Minority Report," "Elysium," "Inception" (Yes, that's cyberpunk), "Ghost in the Shell," and the "Bladerunner" duology...to name a few.  I've also read William Gibson's "Sprawl" trilogy and "Bridge" trilogy along with the more contemporary "Altered Carbon" by Richard Morgan.  As far as video games in the genre go there aren't that many well known titles outside of Shadowrun and Deus Ex, but if you don't limit yourself to RPGs and are willing to a bit of poking around there are some interesting oddball titles that have their own unique charms.  Here are five that I think are worth mentioning.

Technobabylon is a classic point-and-click adventure game.  The story is told from the perspective of three different characters including a hardboiled detective and shut-in computer nerd.  The plot revolves around murder, blackmail and an AI construct.  While not likely to win much praise for originality, the game does have it's moments.  Defiantly worth checking out, if you are a fan of both cyberpunk and old-school adventure games.

Invisible Inc. is a turn-based strategy game in which the player is charged with carrying out a series of high stakes corporate espionage missions using an elite team of operatives.  Each individual player controlled character has their own strengths and weaknesses, as well as quirks.  The level layout, object and enemy placement is procedurally generated ensuring that things never quite play out the same way twice.

Observer, or if you want to get technical, >observer_ is a first-person adventure game staring the voice talents of Rutger Hauer (of "Bladerunner" fame).  It recently received an updated "system redux" version which improves the visuals and gameplay slightly.  At it's core though, this is a cyberpunk horror title, and a rare pairing of those two genres.  While it lacks much in the way of action, it does make up for it with a whole lot of style.

VA-11 HALL-A is best described as a visual novel.  Players take the roll of a bartender serving drinks to eccentric bunch of clientele.  Between sometimes lengthy chats with patrons, the player has to mix and serve drinks.  In their free time they can spend earnings on furnishings for their home.  A sequel is in the works entitled N1RV Ann-A, but it's unclear when (or even if) this title will come out.

Snatcher is what you get if you combine "Bladerunner" with the "Terminator" and have it made by Hideo Kojima (creator of Metal Gear and Death Stranding).  It's actually quite old, having originally been released back in 1988, there are over a dozen different ports of the game on various platforms.  It's an eclectic mix of action and puzzle solving from the first and third-person perspective with a little bit of nudity and gore sprinkled in.  Many versions are full voice acted to boot.

So, there you go.  If you're in the mood for some cyberpunk, but don't have a high tolerance for cyber bugs or eurojank, then maybe check one or more these games instead.  They may not have the breadth or flash of a big budget title, but a lot of heart went into creating them...and, when you get down to it, isn't that what all those mega-corps are lacking in cyberpunk stories?

Free and Worth Every Penny

In a relatively recent interview, acclaimed movie director Francis Ford Coppola mentioned that two of his most highly regarded films, "The Godfather" and "Apocalypses Now", were largely panned by critics in pre-release screenings.  In hindsight this all seems rather absurd.  Both motion pictures are currently considered some of the very best in 1970s cinema.  Conversely, look at what has won an Oscar for best film over the years.  Does anyone really hold "Driving Miss Daisy" or "Crash" in high regards these days?  The video game industry is no exception to this phenomenon either.  Giant Bomb's 2017 game of the year was PUBG, a FPS that was even then in the process of being overshadowed by other battle royale games.  Meanwhile, GameSpot is the only major outlet that has ever given a game-of-the-year award to a Souls-series game, despite the immense influence they've had on game design.  So, what I'm I getting at here?  Well...early criticism (particularly in the form of video game reviews) doesn't have much value even if it's coming from a profession source.

This is especially true when one considers early access titles or games that receive considerable post-launch support.  Pretty much any review (written or recorded) will inevitably end up out-of-date at some point in the future.  Generally speaking, patches and content updates improve the quality of a game, but not always.   Trackmania is somewhat famous for being noticeable worse in it's final form than it was earlier on.  Whether it be pre-release hype or restrictive NDA's, attendees of sneak-peeks or preview events have a troubling tendency to be of the enthusiast press variety.  In other words, it's glowing praise or nothing at all.  Of course, once the game is out in the wild, so to speak, the truth becomes known.  Sometimes it more or less affirms early impressions, but oftentimes that's not the case.  Regardless, down-the-road reviews tend to be deeper and more thoughtful in their analysis by virtue of taking the necessary time to digest what was consumed.  That's not to say that later, slower, and longer always equate to better criticism though.

It only takes a few minutes of browsing through an aggregated review website to find a recent review of an older game that is a bunch of poorly thought out garbage.  So, how can we seek out good criticism?  The unfortunately reality is forming a consensus takes time in much the same way one must wait for the cream to rise to the top of a glass of fresh milk.  That said, the thing that I think benefits critical discussions of video games the most is a wide variety of differing perspectives.  Obviously, the pitfall here is critics who are blind to their own biases or lack the empathy to relate to someone coming from a different view point.  This sort of thing is what leads to petty arguments rather than genuine debates. 

So, am I saying that reviews are trash?...kind of...yeah.  If you can find someone who has similar tastes to your own then that might be valuable, but could potentially lead to merely seeking validation over actual merit.  I strongly believe that only through hearing out differing opinions can one truly experience a piece of media to the fullest.  Alternatively, there are a number of streaming and video-on-demand services out there that let us see and to some degree judge a game for ourselves without actually playing or paying for it.  This isn't a perfect solution though, in that it's time consuming and (for better or worse) any particular part of a game may not be indicative of the overall experience.  Simply put, there are games that peter out after the first act, and there are games that take ten or more hours to really get going.

I guess in the end there aren't any perfect solutions to the problems associated with video game criticism.  Ultimately the best thing any of us can do is to stay one step behind the curve.  Given how FOMO driven gaming is these days though I feel like that strategy is only viable for someone who carefully avoids spoilers, has iron willpower, and doesn't mind only participating in LttP style discussions.  No matter what kind of person you are though, I have one piece of advice I hope you'll take to heart: 

Never trust a day one review of anything.

At best it will be ill-informed, and at worst a blatant attempt to cash-in on whatever the current zeitgeist is.        

Tempting Fate

Stanisław Lem though perhaps not as well know as Arthur C. Clarke or Isaac Asimov, was very much a Cold War era science fiction writer of the same caliber.  His lack of renown has much to do with him writing in his native language, Polish, as well as residing on the communist side of the iron curtain.  To this day, many of his works have not been translated into English.  In part it's because of his tendency for idiomatic expressions and wordplay (things which are very hard to convey in a different language and culture), but also because much of what he wrote was a product of the 1960s...or even earlier.  Hence, Lem's descriptions often suffer from some pretty glaring anachronisms.  Calling his works dated though, would be unfair in that he tended to fill his stories with philosophy, satire and criticisms that are just as relevant today as they were over half-a-century ago.  Though he often wrote about flawed utopias, his most signature trope is incomprehensible extra-terrestrial lifeforms, exemplified in his most famous tale "Solaris," but also on full display in another of his works - a novella entitled "The Invincible."

This space sci-fi adventure story is being adapted to a video game format by Polish development team Starward Industries.  This group of former Witcher series devs hope to have a level of success similar to what they achieved when adapting the writings of another Polish genre fiction author - Andrzej Sapkowski.  While not a third-person action RPG, the Starward team have made a smart move by embracing the story's dated elements via an atompunk visual art style.  For those unfamiliar, atompunk is the future that never was.  It's what people thought the future would look like in the 1950s and 60s.  In essence, it is a retro-future aesthetic with the signature bright colors, rocket-shaped starships, spacesuits with big glass visors, and of course ray guns.  It's actually a fairly underused art style that I'm glad is getting a chance to show off here.  

As far as gameplay goes, the novella focused on the crew of the titular star cruiser "Invincible" and an investigation into the loss of contact with their sister ship "The Condor" on the planet Regis III.  The original story features a lot of dialogue and traveling about under dangerous circumstances.  So it comes as no surprise that the developers hinted that the game would play like a mix of Firewatch and Alien: Isolation.  Despite adhering pretty closely to the source material, it does sound like there will be some deviations.  For one thing the protagonist will be a member of The Invincible's crew who has woken up from hypersleep late and has to figure out what is going on (not something that happened in the novella).  It all sounds very intriguing though, so, as one might imagine I have high hopes for this game and look forward to learning more about next year.     

Demon's Souls Photo Mode

 

2020 Awards

Avant-garde Award:

Disco Elysium is a fusion of table-top RPG mechanics and narrative driven murder mystery all wrapped in a dialogue bramble thicket (rather than trees).  Skill stats and traits are largely mental rather than physical and the setting has the vibe of 1970s America, but with a wholly alternate history and world.  Needless to say, it's a weird game that redefines what the genre can be.

Backlash Award:

Normally, I skip Electronics Arts sports games because they are low hanging fruit when it comes to this category.  That said, Madden NFL 21 has the lowest user score in Metacritic history with logos and labels left over from the previous year.  It also marks four years of this franchise with the same graphics and glitches, but somehow features have been removed.  Also, the loot box mechanics are such that the rewards don't roll over to the next entry.

Brutality Award:

To call SnowRunner a difficult game would be somewhat of a misrepresentation.  There is no "game over" screen, nor any true failed state.  Even so driving through mud, snow and floodwaters can be nearly Sisyphean tasks; a form of torture overcome only by planning, improvisation and a whole lot of patience.  You can't lose, but success can be so elusive at times it feels impossible. 

Canvas Award:

Hardspace: Shipbreaker is made by the same folks who worked on the Homeworld series.  There are lots of bright starships, painted in bold colors and patterns.  The origin of this futuristic look is from paintings by last century artists like Stewart Cowley and Chris Foss. I guess in that way, one could consider this game a feast for the eyes in terms of classic space sci-fi visuals.  

Ecology Award:

Another sports game by Electronic Arts...this time it's a soccer instead of football (that probably doesn't make much sense if you're outside of the USA...anyway...). FIFA 21 Legacy Edition for the Nintendo Switch is a copy/paste job of the 2016 engine just with a roster update.  IGN reviewed the game by simply (and deliberately) copying their review from last year which called it a "macro-transaction", just with a lower score.

"Engrish" Award:

As far as rogue-like shooters go, Gunfire Reborn is one of the better ones out there.  I'm not sure what the title of this game is trying to imply though...is there a lot of bullet recycling going on?  In-game text prompts like "cannot reload by hand, but reserve ammos auto-reload when you stop shooting" don't really clear the waters so to speak either.  Hopefully, the dev team made enough money to give the English localization a second pass.

Esoteric Award:

In this tower defense game gemstones are weapons.  They come in ten varieties, each with it's own upgrade path.  They can also be combined to create hybrids.  Add to this, enemy variety (both in terms of type and numbers) and battlefield topography.  The result is a bewildering labyrinth of strategies with many ways to reach victory in the center. 

Lemon Award:

Despite a long development cycle, Microsoft's latest addition to their Flight Simulator franchise has a few issues; houses in football fields, or on railroad tracks, plane-shaped buildings and most humors of all a narrow tower in Melbourne, Australia that (due to a data entry error) is thousands of feet tall.  Normally this sort of thing wouldn't be particularly noteworthy, but because the emphasis on realism such mistakes standout like a sore thumb. 

Testosterone Award:

I get the impression that a certain subset of bodybuilders really just want to be a big blob of muscle.  Well, in Carrion you get to be just that; eat, sleep and exercise by cutting a path of blood and carnage through passageways and rooms filled with metal machines.  It really is like experiencing a feverish nightmare of someone who's whole life revolves around going to the gym. 

Underdog Award:

The latest entry in the long running Bridge Constructor series teams up with the equally long running AMC mini-series "The Walking Dead" to create something new.  Unlike most cash-ins of popular films and television, this title actually has some interesting mechanics.  The closest thing I can think of to it is that classic puzzle game - Lemmings.  Sadly, I think of potential players have had their fill of both franchises.

Return to Space (Final)

The one lead players have at this point is a "Genetix" logo and stellar coordinates they found printed on one of the toxic waste containers discovered back at Klorox II.  This brings our team to what looks like the space station from "Silent Running."  For those who might not be familiar with the 1972 sci-fi film of that name just know that it's a huge greenhouse in space.

Roger tries to beam aboard the abandoned station to investigate further, but a transporter malfunction causes his head to be swapped with that of a fly.  Unlike the black-and-white classic horror movie "The Fly," Wilco's consciousness also transfers over to his much smaller insect body.  With some ingenuity and effort our hero is able to get in contact with Flo on the Eureka and have Cliffy beam over to set things right.  The whole misadventure actually serves as the impetus for curing the mutagenic infection.  The transporter can be jury-rigged to remove corrupted DNA.  Roger examines some old Genetix research logs, which basically read like something written by the Umbrella Corporation from Resident Evil, as well as financial accounting information that includes bribes made to Captain Quirk.  Wilco also manages to requisition two tanks of liquid hydrogen.  The Genetix research data confirms that extreme cold is an effective way to temporarily paralyze mutated lifeforms.  Roger gives the tanks to Cliffy who plans on making them into a non-lethal weapon.  The two of them then beam back to the Eureka to perform the transporter cure on Beatrice (credit to Spike for prompting the idea).  The operation is a success, but Beatrice is still exhausted and asks to be returned to the stasis pod in order to make a full recovery.  Our team has the tools to defeat the mutants and recover the Goliath.  

Using the cloaking device salvaged from WD-40's starship, the garbage scow is able to sneak up on Quirk's vessel undetected.  Roger then slips through the Goliath's shields via the Eureka's EVA pod and gains access to the relatively deserted engineering deck.  Here, he reattaches the ship's warp distributer cap before crawling and climbing through a maze of maintenance shafts all the way up to the bridge.  Wilco is able to deactivate the ship's shields, but his plan is quickly knocked sidewise when he is discovered by the mutated bridge crew (including Quirk).  All seems lost until WD-40 suddenly beams aboard and opens fire with twin cold rays mounted in her torso.  The freezing effect only momentary stuns the mutants so the two of them make a hasty retreat down to the transporter room.  Cliffy, having already beamed aboard here, has modified the transporter system to remove corrupted material from infected individuals.  The mutants, using the ship's internal sensors, converge on the transporter room in search of our hero.  Hiding behind a bulkhead, Roger is able to signal Cliffy to activate the transporter once all the mutants have piled into the room.  Assuming players time it right, the trick works.  All the Goliath's crew are cured...except for Quirk.

Because there was so much corrupted tissue, Cliffy was forced to beam it out as a big glob drifting nearby in space.  Quirk boards a shuttle and crashes directly into the mass of material, turning himself into a kind of sentient space blob...that promptly attaches itself to the Goliath's hull in an attempt to get inside.  Roger transports back to the Eureka and rushes to the bridge.  Acting quickly, he orders Droole to open fire on the creature.  The attack doesn't seem to do much harm, but it does get the blob's attention.  The Quirk-thing detaches from the Goliath and makes its way toward the Eureka.  Being a fragile garbage scow the situation looks pretty dire, but the Eureka does have an integrated system specifically designed to deal with loose trash - the RRS.

The surprised looking blob is quickly sucked up into the ship's refuse container.  Unfortunately, the system was never designed to hold such an unruly mass of sentient toxic waste.  The only option here is to activate the Eureka's self-destruct sequence.  Droole and Flo make a break for the transporter room and beam over to the Goliath.  Roger is fast on their heels, but first has to let Beatrice out of her sleeping chamber.  She spring out of the pod looking as lively as ever although there does seem to be some residual disorientation.  After she beams over to the Goliath, Roger grabs Spike out of his tube and steps onto the transporter pad...only to have it blow a fuse.  The junction box is in the adjoining hall, so our hero has to rush over there and swap out the dead plug for a fresh one.  On his way back to the transporter room, the hatch to refuse storage area bursts open and the Quirk-thing spills partially out across the deck.  With a heroic leap Wilco is able to jump over a grasping hand-like appendage protruding out of the blob, thus gaining access to the now functioning transporter.  Beaming aboard the Goliath, Roger orders Droole to take the helm and get the ship to safety.  The Goliath accelerates away just in the nick of time, as a massive blast destroys the Eureka and what remained of Captain Quirk.  Having saved the day Wilco orders Droole to set course for home while Beatrice gives him an affectionate peck on the cheek...

...and that's all for Space Quest V: The Next Mutation.  It's also the end of this series retrospective.  Technically, there is a sixth installment in the franchise, but it is so awful I can't bring myself to write about out.  As for the fifth one, I've seen fans and reviewers criticize it for being too much like Star Trek, but a group of intrepid adventurers galivanting through space is really only overused in television and movies; for video games it's actually a fairly uncommon sub-genre.  The Mass Effect series is the only recent IP that stands out as thematically similar in concept, and even then it is much more somber and action oriented than Space Quest.  As I said before it's my favorite in the franchise, not to mention the longest (demonstrated by the fact that it took me three blog posts to summarize rather than the usual two).  Truth be told though, the first through fifth were all great as far as games of this style go; a rare feat when it comes to long running video game franchises.  Because of that, I really wanted to do a proper revisit even if it ended up being very time consuming.  Anyway, I hope it was as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write. 

Return to Space (Part 10)

Having completed their first assignment, the crew of the Eureka decide to take a break at the only local establishment for such purposes - "The Space Bar" (no relation to that wide button at the bottom of every keyboard).  After beaming aboard this deep space watering hole, Droole, Flo and our hero settle down at the table and order some drinks.  Cliffy excuses himself and Captain Quirk inexplicably shows up to exchange petty insults with Roger until the situation escalates into a one-on-one duel of "Space Battleship"...it's basically the same as the classic Milton Bradley board game just with a more sci-fi aesthetic.  Win or lose, Wilco finds himself saddled with another problem.  Cliffy has gotten into a fight with another Space Bar patron and landed himself in the station's brig.  Now it's up to players to find a way to bust Cliffy out of jail.  In a bizarre coincidence, a rather sleazy looking salesman happened to give our hero a sample packet of "Space Monkeys" just a short while ago.  What are Space Monkeys?  Well...I'm not entirely sure, but I think they're a spoof on the real-life novelty children's toy called "Sea Monkeys."  Unlike the aquatic variant though, Space Monkeys come with an explicit label on the packet warning not to mix them with alcohol.  So, what happens next?  You guessed it!  The whole packet goes straight into a cocktail drink.  With disturbing speed, these strange little floating green creatures begin to infest the Space Bar.  An evacuation alarm goes off and this gives Wilco a chance to bust Cliffy out of the slammer (with a little help from Spike and his acidic secretions).  Meanwhile, the Space Monkeys continue to multiply at an exponential rate leading to over pressurization of the station's internal atmosphere and a catastrophic explosion.  Thankfully, everyone is able to evacuate in time.  You'd think an incident like this would lead to a board of inquiry, but the crew of the Eureka don't seem at all concerned.  In fact, they are overjoyed by their captain's handling of the situation.  What's more, there is a new addition to the crew; a science officer with the designation "WD-40" (yet another reference to household cleaning products).  She is a rebuilt version of the droid that Roger had defeated earlier in the game.  Luckily for our hero, Cliffy reduced her hostility settings before reactivating her.

From here on out Space Quest V takes on a more unsettling tone.  The crew of the Eureka find themselves drawn into a investigation of the "Sludge Bandits" and their unwholesome activities.  Players, by this point, will have probably figured out that Captain Quirk is a co-conspirator in their evil machinations, but lack any hard evidence.  On the planet "Klorox II" (even more cleaning product jokes!) Roger and Droole find out that the few colonists on this remote outpost were horribly mutated by exposure to a toxic substance dumped in canisters across the hills near the base.  All but one of the mutated residents boarded a shuttlecraft and were able to infiltrate the Goliath (possibly under the ruse that they were in need of aid).  Upon returning to the Eureka, Flo reports to Roger that they are receiving an emergency broadcast.  A distraught looking Captain Quirk appears on the display, but his message is cut a bit short when part of his jaw begins to pulse unnaturally.  It appears that the entire crew of the Goliath has been infected, including the ship's captain.  Rushing to provide whatever aid it can, the Eureka arrives in orbit around the giant fungal forest planet "Thrakus."  Our hero beams down to the planet surface to investigate the source of an automated distress beacon.  He finds an abandoned escape pod and is then promptly ambushed by Beatrice.  However, moments later the two of them are subsequently ambushed by mutated members of the Goliath's crew armed with super soakers.  Unlike traditional water guns though, these are filled with infectious slime.  Roger and Beatrice are able to beam back up to the Eureka, but not before Wilco's wife-to-be is hit by some of the goop.

Onboard the garbage scow Beatrice reveals that she stole the Goliath's warp distributer cap before fleeing the vessel.  Without this critical piece of machinery Quirk's ship is stuck in the local vicinity.  Exhausted from her ordeal and slowly succumbing to infection, our hero has no choice but to place Beatrice in cryostasis until a cure can be found.

Once Roger ha s made his way back to the bridge it becomes clear that they have been spotted by the lurking Goliath.  Raising the shields buys the crew of the Eureka a little time, but the garbage scow is hopelessly outmatched by the larger starship.  The only option is to take refuge in the planetary rings around Thrakus.  Here, the small size of the Eureka works to its advantage.  The Goliath is unable to pursue and slinks away like a disappointed predator.  Safe for the moment, Cliffy suits up and goes out on a spacewalk in order to repair some damaged systems.  Unfortunately, while returning to the ship's airlock he loses his perch and ends up drifting helplessly into the asteroid field.  It's up to the captain, and by extension the player, to make a rescue attempt using the Eureka's emergency EVA pod (basically a small self-contained spacecraft with a robotic claw arm and very limited range).

The mini-game that follows is pretty straight forward: pick up Cliffy and get back to the garbage scow.  If the player doesn't get a handle on the pods controls though, it can be very easy to wind up all turned around and out of fuel.  Assuming this happens, players are treated to a failure state cutscene involving a native of Thrakus pointing out a falling star to another of its kind.  Presumably, this is Roger's dead EVA pod burning up in the upper atmosphere.  Alternatively, if players are able to rescue Cliffy and return to the ship safely, then the garbage scow is free to roam the stars again.  The Goliath, on the other hand, is unable to go to warp although it is jamming all communications in the sector.  Oddly enough, why Captain Wilco can't simple order the Eureka back to base and report to StarCon directly is never really addressed.  Apparently, it is up to Roger, our hero, and his band of misfits to solve this problem on their own.              

Return to Space (Part 9)

Space Quest V: The Next Mutation is exactly what it claims to be in that it does feel and play like a mutation of the pervious games in the series.  Only one of The Two Guys from Andromeda was involved in the project and the storyline was written by yet another individual.  Despite (or perhaps because of) all these deviations from the established formula, Space Quest V has a more memorable and diverse cast of characters than any other entry in the entire franchise.

As the game begins, we find Roger Wilco in a captain's chair of all places giving orders during some kind of emergency situation.  As it quickly turns out, the whole thing is just an elaborate computer simulation.  Our hero is, in fact, just a cadet at the StarCon Space Academy.  Late to a final multiple-choice exam, Roger is ordered to clean the academy floor crest in the station's hub area as punishment after the test is concluded.  While operating a floor cleaner he has a chance encounter with Captain Quirk (chairman of the academy) and none-other-than Beatrice (Wilco's future wife-to-be as reveled at the end of Space Quest IV).  The two are on their way to a meeting so there is only a brief exchange.  Even so, Captain Quirk manages to embarrass himself by slipping on a wet spot.  Thanks to the magic of scene transitions (and eventually Roger doing a bit of snooping) players get to see what the meeting is all about.  Beatrice is a representative of the local government and has come to complain about illegal dumping of toxic waste on planets under her jurisdiction.  The officers of StarCon in attendance don't seem particularly concerned, but Captain Quirk offers to take her around the sector in his flagship - SCS Goliath.

Meanwhile, our hero's test results have been compiled and, due to a short circuit in the grading machine, he has received the highest marks in the history of the academy.  Because of this he has earned an immediate captain's commission.  As fate would have it though Roger's new command is garbage scow.  Being as small spaceship, the crew only consists of three individuals: Cliffy (the blue-collared mechanic), Droole (the pilot) and Flo (the coms specialist).  Cliffy is human, but Flo has green skin, although in all other ways gives the impression of being a middle-aged woman.  Droole has bright red skin and, while also humanoid in appearance, lacks any facial features other than a pair of eyes.  How he breaths, talks or eats is never explained.  However, later in the game it's possible to see him drinking from a glass by placing it on top of his head.  So, maybe he has a mouth somewhere on his parietal cranium...?

Generally speaking, the crew aren't very friendly toward Roger despite his best efforts to make a pleasant atmosphere.  Even so there is work to be done.  The team's first assignment is trash retrieval in orbit around three different worlds.  Here's where a new mechanic comes into play.  Gone are the useless taste and smell icons, and in their stead is a secondary speak icon differentiated from the regular one by an exclamation point in the text bubble.  This is the command function and it can be used to issue orders to the crew.  No sooner had Roger given the order to engage the FTL drive to their first destination than another ship is revealed to be in stealthy pursuit.  This is a callback to Space Quest III and the circumstances are nearly identical in almost every way.  The one notable exception being this time the stalking droid is decidedly feminine looking whereas the original had a masculine appearance.  Fans might have been disappointed to see this plot device being recycled, but in my case I actually played the fifth game before the third, so this seamed like a totally original idea to me at the time.  I should also take a moment to mention what the garbage scow is called...its designation is SCS Eureka, a starship that is the spitting image of the bottom part of an upright vacuum cleaner.  Even the ship's name is parodying a widely sold brand of such machines.  Just to make the joke completely obvious, the Eureka is even equipped with an RRS (or Refuse Recovery System) which it uses to pick up bags of orbital garbage with the word "Husky" printed on them...yet another parody...this time of "Hefty" brand trash bags.  

After successfully completing their first pick up, Cliffy notices some strange sounds coming from the refuse compartment.  Roger decides to check it out and is immediately pounced on by a molluscoid creature that vaguely resembles a facehugger from the film "Alien."  Contrary to what one might expect, Wilco is rather enamored by the little guy.  He decides to name him "Spike" and adopts him as the ship's mascot.  Unfortunately, Spike isn't house trained and has a bad habit of secreting highly corrosive acid.  Luckily, our hero is able to safely place him inside a glass tube filled with an antacid solution.  Crisis averted, the crew of the Eureka set course for their next pick up.  This one goes more smoothly than the last, but is still disrupted by an unknown transmission intercepted by Flo.  Roger and his crew don't really connect the dots in terms of the content, but thoughtful players will quickly realize that the message pertains to the illegal dumping that has been going on.  

Pushing on to their final objective, the Eureka arrives only to find out that there is no trash beacon.  On top of that the ship is suddenly struck by an energy weapon attack then promptly hailed by the female droid that players had seen earlier.  She, like her failed predecessor has come to collect Roger Wilco for unpaid debts.  Having no interest in his ship or crew, she instructs Roger to beam down to the planet for retrieval.  Caught dead-to-rights, Wilco has no real choice but to obey.  

What follows is a lot like that classic Star Trek episode in which Kirk (not Quirk) fights a Gorn at Vasquez Rocks.  The location (this time) is a bit more exotic, with caves behind waterfalls and a greater abundance of plant life.  Our hero, in typical fashion, is unarmed and (to make matters worse) is up against an opponent who is not only stronger and tougher than him, but also capable of flying (via a jetpack) and turning invisible (via person cloaking device)...oh and she can shoot lethal (although not terribly accurate) energy projectiles too.  In order to win this lopsided duel players must use Roger as bait in order to lure the droid into a cave.  Wilco can then pry loose a big bolder and send it rolling down the tunnel from an opening on the other side.  The effect is like a bowling ball hitting a pin.  Even so this only succeeds in knocking out the droid's ability to turn invisible.  The finisher is to have our hero hide in a hollowed out log that acts like a bridge between two rocky outcroppings.  After waiting a bit Wilco's pursuer will land at this junction point hoping to spot him, thus giving Roger the chance to stealthy stuff a piece of wild fruit into the air intake of the droid's jetpack.  In a bit of foreshadowing, the multiple-choice quiz back at the beginning of the game has stuffing a banana in the exhaust pipe as a possible answer to one of its questions.  I can't remember if it was the correct answer or not, but I do remember passing the test on my first try (without cheating).  I guess I was good StarCon cadet material back then...

As one might expect, the jetpack malfunctions spectacularly and the accompanying explosion reduces the droid to several non-functional pieces.  Cliffy then beams down to help Wilco salvage what's left.  The two them also manage to steal a large cloaking device from the droid's spaceship parked nearby before it self-destructs.  

Terrifying Tunes

 

Return to Space (Part 8)

The planet "Estros" (based on what little we get to see of it) is an arid world made up of stairs and platforms supported by tall stone spires rising out of a clear blue sea (or possibly a big lake...). For some reason it reminds me of a Dr. Seuss drawing. Pretty quickly after arriving, Roger gets picked up by a pterodactyl-like creature and then is promptly dropped into it's lofty nest...along with an unfortunate sequel police...man...robot? See...here's the thing...unlike Wilco, who gets dumped into the center of the nest, this jackbooted thug comes down on the rim and is impaled on some very sharp branches. The color is clearly red, which implies blood...maybe they just wear masks that make them look and sound robotic, but underneath they're actually people? I was never clear on that point...

Anyway, it doesn't take long for our hero to escape from the nest by jumping down into the water below.  No sooner has he scrambled onto dryland though than a trio of women spring a trap on him.  They are dressed in sleek one-piece swimsuits and armed with harpoon guns.  These are apparently the "latex babes" of Space Quest X.  The previous Roger Wilco, that is to say the one of this timeline, must have departed under poor circumstances because these three ladies are not happy to see him.  In fact, they decide to take him prisoner.  Loaded aboard an awaiting submarine, Roger is brought to an underwater base.  Here, the latex babes decide to torture him, or maybe just shave his legs...I was never clear on that point either.  Regardless, a massive "sea-slug" interrupts the proceedings by emerging from the base's central moon pool.  Roger's captors quickly scatter, but Wilco is trapped in a restraining chair.  Luckily, taking advantage of the chair's built-in features (and a nearby compressed gas canister) allows our hero to defeat the sea-slug.  At this point the latex babes have a change of heart, deciding that they like Roger after all, and choose to celebrate their reconciliation with him by going shopping...yeah...the storyline is kind of all over the place...departing Estros in a starship, the game suddenly cuts back to Space Quest XII.  One of the soldiers that rescued Roger back at the beginning of the game has been taken prisoner by the sequel police.  Brought before a huge holographic projection of Sludge Vohaul inside his red tower, it is revealed that this "rebel," as the sequel police call him, is actually Roger Wilco's son!

Meanwhile, back in Space Quest X the latex babes and our hero have arrive at a domed space station.  The central part features a zero-g skating rink while the outer ring-shaped promenade is lined with shops.  These consist of an arcade, a monolith burger, two clothing stores, a software retailer and a "Radio Shock" (actually a parody of the real life electronics chain "Radio Shack," the name was changed to "Hz. So Good" in the CD-ROM version due to copyright infringement).  The latex babes are quickly lured away by a sale leaving Roger to his own devices.  Using an ATM card that one of his former kidnappers accidentally dropped, Wilco is able to acquire a small amount of funds.  From here there's a number of things the player needs to do in order to progress, but to make a long story short the sequel police arrive and our hero has to franticly and desperately escape by hijacking another time pod.  Passing through a rift, Roger finds himself in none other than Space Quest I...at the outpost on Kerona no less...

After a close call involving a trio of hover bikers (who don't like Wilco because he's in VGA while everything else is in EGA), Wilco finally makes his way back to Space Quest XII.  Here, he can finally gain entrance to the interior of the red tower.  The inside of this massive structure looks very similar to something out of an H.R. Giger painting while the layout is vaguely reminiscent of the asteroid base in Space Quest II.  Getting through this section of the game is relatively painless compared to that one though...and upon penetrating the inner sanctum our hero discovers that his son is not only being held prisoner, but has Sludge Vohaul's digital consciousness downloaded into his brain.  Thankfully, Roger is able to reverse the process and erase Vohaul by literally dragging and dropping his mind data in the waste basket of an OS screen.  Actually it's a toilet icon, and it's also possible to erase some other data including copies of "Leisure Suit Larry 4" and "King's Quest 43"...under no circumstances should the player erase Space Quest 4 though, because doing so causes the game to close, dumping the player back to their computer's real OS.  It's a mean joke, to say the lease, but mercifully doesn't actually erase anything.  After making a quick escape, Roger Wilco and his son (to be) have a brief conversation.  Roger's son shows him a holographic image of his mother (Wilco's wife to be), but doesn't elaborate on who she is except to refer to her in the past tense as "Beatrice Wankmeister."  Refusing to divulge any more information Roger's son once again opens a time/space rift and asks our hero to jump in. 

So ends Space Quest IV with Wilco plunging through a rainbow tunnel back to his own timeline.  It a very eclectic game, but I enjoyed it anyway...mostly because it was the first Space Quest title I managed to finish without consulting a hint book.  Well...there is actually a hint book in the game itself, but it's not meant to be taken seriously...for the most part.  Regardless, it's certainly more approachable than previous entries in the series.  Next up is my favorite in the entire franchise.

Return to Space (Part 7)

Outside of the opening cutscene, Space Quest IV isn't actually the fourth entry in the series.  That might sound like a strange thing to say, but it's technically true.  Looking at the full title of the game (Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers), it's perhaps easier to see why this is the case.  The story, in this installment, is centered around time travel.  Unlike most time travel adventures though Roger doesn't journey to some arbitrary date in the future or past.  Instead he visits earlier or later entries in the Space Quest franchise (specifically, Space Quest I, III, X and XII).  Aside from a very unconventional storyline, Space Quest IV introduces VGA graphics, live-action rotoscoping, and a tool bar in lieu of a text parser.  Rather than the player typing in simple keyboard commands, they use a mouse to select from a list of eight functions.  Aside from game options and inventory, there are cursor icons for walk, talk, use/obtain, look, taste and smell.  It should be mentioned that the last two are really only included for humorous reasons.  The CD-ROM version of Space Quest IV also features a full voice cast and narration by Gary Owens.

As the story begins, Roger is sharing a drink with some aliens in a dive bar on the planet Magmetheus.  In come two jackbooted robotic looking soldiers who demand that Roger speak with them outside.  Once Roger has been escorted out of the drinking establishment, one of the armed soldiers presents a handheld holographic device from which projects an image of Wilco's old nemesis - Sludge Vohaul.  After doing his trademark gloating he orders the "sequel police" to dispose of Roger once and for all.  Apparently, that's what the robotic soldiers are called.  Before they can carry out their orders though, a pair of human soldiers get the literal drop on the three of them.  The sequel police are knocked to the ground and Roger is hastily brought to some cover behind what looks like a sand crawler from Star Wars.  Energy beams start flying so without time to explain one of Roger's rescuers uses a device he's carrying to open up a rift in space/time.  As instructed, Wilco jumps in and finds himself falling through a rainbow colored tunnel.  Moments later he drops into a desolate urban landscape that is none other than Space Quest XII: Vohaul's Revenge II.  

Here, our hero quickly realizes he's on his home planet, Xenon, but not as he remembered it.  The place looks utterly desolate and war-torn.  A massive red tower dominates the skyline, distant thunder can be heard, and a zombified cybernetic person roaming the streets will let loose a bloodcurdling scream if Roger gets near him.  This in turn calls a patrolling hunter/killer robot that quickly dispatches Wilco.  The sewers offer a means of getting off the streets, but are also home to a green ooze that must be avoided.  With a little effort though it's possible to discover the location of a hidden underground lab.  In here Roger finds a holographic recording that explains what happened.  This isn't the Xenon of now, but rather one in the future.  It has been subjugated by what was initially thought to be an invasive computer virus that infested the planet-wide administrative AI, but is in fact a digital backup of Sludge Vohaul's mind.  The sequel police must have some inkling of our hero's whereabouts because a dropship sets down on the street intersection just above where Roger is sheltering.  After Vohaul's thugs have disembarked, Wilco can pop out of a nearby covered manhole and stowaway in the landing gear.  This allows him to hitch a ride to the red tower.  The place is crawling with sequel police though so from here the only option is to jump into a time pod parked in an adjacent landing bay.  Despite looking like a hovercraft, or possibly a flying car, the only way to operate the time pod is by punching six digit codes into a control panel.  Aside from the "ENT" button, all the symbols on the keypad are weird so there really isn't any option other than to try stuff at random.  After several unsuccessful attempts the game will (regardless of what nonsensical sequence the player enters) activate the pod and take Roger to Space Quest X: Latex Babes of Estros.